ANUSTART

Well, well, well, look at what we have here...

It seems we have a new leader.

"It's a new start," said Safari. "Or ANUSTART, as some anal-rapists would say."

Oh, ANUSTART, I remember that episode fondly. Mostly because ANUSTART was probably one of the few things I found funny about season four. I hear that there's a fifth season coming, and production will be much more like season's one through three, where the entire cast is available for shooting all episodes. I really hope that it is, because season for - to Sir Fucking Randy, at least - was an utter disappointment.

But back to hockey: After spending more weeks at number one than Taylor Swift, Sitch has been temporarily bumped off the pedestal, finding himself playing second fiddle to Safari. Now, it's still only intra-week, so the rankings may change come Sunday night, but for now we can declare Safari interim-Leader.

"Again, it's just a real hot steak. Season isn't over," said Safari. "We had a mini dance party in my office last night. We feasted on the finest of meats. But it's back to business for the pride."

All business as usual, Safari. But, congrats on the progress you've made. Rafiki is proud f you.

The surge Safari has been able to execute is remarkable, but where have the points been coming from?

Adds McGuire: I know where I can draw the - dare I say it - LAINE!

Oh, you're hilarious, Pierre.

"I love puns!" screamed Dick.

Adds McGuire: Laine has been on fire, collecting almost 40 fantasy points over the last two weeks. Safari actually sat him on the night he netted a hat trick, so Safari could have been even further ahead right now had he played Laine. Safari's pick up in Captain Serious (Jonathan Toews) is also paying off big time; Toews has also scored close to 40 fantasy points over that period. Nazem Kadri has also been a force, collecting just over 30 fantasy points over the same time frame. Can't get much better than that!

Asked whether he was disappointed with his team giving up the lead, Sitch was rather still like a tree trunk. Sources indicate that he has been melancholy, but respectful.

"He's sent me a few messages," said Safari, picking some zebra meat out between his teeth. "He's been telling me for two weeks now that he felt I would catch up. It's gracious, but I also think he's embracing for a late surge, trying to catch me off guard."

Adds McGuire: Sitch's team is still an obvious threat. I mean, he's lost out on points this season too. I think there have been a handful of occasions where he sat out a goalie who earned a shutout, and let's not forget that he's been without Stamkos (his Keeper) for most of the season. Had Stamkos been healthy, you could definitely argue that Sitch would have more goals, and may still be in the lead.

Well, that's the beauty of fantasy hockey, gentlemen and lady. You can never be sure of anything, except that Dick will go MIA every year.

"Apologies," said Dick.

Wise words, Dick.