WK14 - Scared Shirtless

This is the year. This has to be the year. Am I right?

"Don't jinx it, please!" cried Safari, as he crouches in the shadows.

WK14 has concluded and Safari is getting oh-so-damn-close to the pedestal. In fact, reports tell me that Sitch is officially scared shitess. Or, should I say, shirtless?

"Gotta give dem bitches what they want!" barked Sitch, oiling himself up in tanning grease.

Let's take a look at the visuals, courtesy of the stats machine. Mr. McGuire is in town this week and has offered up his NBC-certified colour commentary services. We are privileged.

Adds McGuire: Sitch has been atop the rankings for seven weeks consecutive, but it's the Silver Lion that's making a real charge for top spot now. He's less than 30 fantasy points behind Sitch and made up significant - or, shall I say, MONSTROUS - gains this week, which paired well as Sitch had an off week (earning only 106.15). Tree Bone was actually this week's top bread winner, taking in 153.05 fantasy points, but Safari did well himself with 136.95.

Adds McGuire: Sitch still owns PPGP with a 3.17, but the rest of the League is close behind: Safari at 3.13, Tree Bone at 3.10, Burgundy at 3.08 and Dick Burns at 2.97. Sitch also put his foot off the gas this week by playing fewer games, whereas Safari upped his games-played, closing the gap in points.

Adds McGuire: I'm absolutely loving what Safari has done lately. Looking at the League transaction activities, he picked up Fleury earlier while Murray was out, cashing in big on a string of Pittsburgh wins. Then, he stuck with Holtby and the Capitals seem to have finally woken up and are becoming dominant again. Safari's offense stats are holding steady, but it's his goalie stats that have really taken him up a notch during this January stretch; shutouts, wins... he's got everything going for him! He's as tasty as a Philly Cheese Steak!

Adds McGuire: And a huge shout out to Tree Bone, who has officially ended her run in the League basement! What a fine-young-woman!

Thanks McGuire. And, not to boast, but I'm pretty sure I called it back in December when I predicted that Washington was going to rebound. The Capitals have won 12 of 16 games since that post.

Adds McGuire: Oh Commissioner, that was an unbelievable call. Such poise and composure in statistical management, Commissioner. Outstanding!

Alright, that's enough, McGuire. That's all I need from you at this time.

So, we've got a shaky Sitch and a stealthy Safari. Who knows what will happen in a few weeks? Like I always say, February is when things get serious and I'm expecting fireworks. The top two teams in PoV are tight (like a Brazzer's PoV porn video), and the remaining teams are not too far away. Personally, I'm loving the push being made by Canadian teams; specifically, Ottawa, Toronto and Edmonton. And, many select-GM's have invested interested in these teams (both emotionally and for fantasy points). We'll have to wait and see whether hearts will be won or broken.

Until next time, gentlemen and lady.

- Sir Fucking Randy